no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
