I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
