Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
