Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
