My room smells like vodka and shame
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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