if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
