Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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