Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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