I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That was before I lit my hair on fire
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
