What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
