Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
