i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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