I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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