I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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