i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am available for nakedness
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
