You're my little dorito
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
