You really coming over, don't trick.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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