he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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