Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
