she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize