I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
