if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
