I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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