She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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