I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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