remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
