She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
MIDGETS
????
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
