Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie

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(954): View more from Florida

like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

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(954): View more from Florida

Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.

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(914): View more from New York

The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"

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(303): View more from Colorado

She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?

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(802): View more from Vermont

She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.

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