You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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