Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Green mimosas i think yes
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
