I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
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He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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