conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
