This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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