I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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