whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
