Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize