What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
