i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
