he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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