whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I still have a little drunk in my system
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
