Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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