What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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