Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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