we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
