She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize