I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
