Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
