We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
