She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
