im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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