so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize