can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
