So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
