what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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