I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
