I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
