Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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