I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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