I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
