dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
