Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
