Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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