wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
