Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
