Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
