This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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